A wedding ceremony is a beautiful way to join a man
and woman in the bonds of marriage. Guests who attend the ceremony are invited
witnesses to the couple's vows and commitment. Whether you have a religious or
secular wedding ceremony, the focus of the service is squarely on the bride and
groom.
However, when the ceremony is over and the guests
head to the wedding reception, I am firm believer in the focus shifting to the
wedding guests. Wedding receptions are parties to celebrate the bride and
groom. But often the couples think the reception is about them. Let's take a
typical party with a guest of honor. The party is filled with food for the
attendees and speeches about the honoree. The honoree does not get to dictate
what the guests should wear, do or say.
I once helped plan a wedding for a bride who stated
she didn't care what the guests ate or if they ate. She wanted them to come, bring presents and go home. She briefly
contemplated charging them for food. Thankfully, the groom's mother stepped in
and helped.
My philosophy of entertaining is to honor my guests
at a dinner or party that I am hostessing. Are them comfortable? Do they have
enough to eat? I love to give thoughtful favors for attending parties or
showers. I work to ensure my guests feel welcome, loved, well-fed and cared
for.... By the way, I feel the same way about friends and family who visit.
This philosophy extends to a wedding reception.
1.
Let the guests eat---- whether cocktails or start dinner. It is
unfair for wedding guest to stand around for one hour while the bride and groom
make their way to the reception. They should not wait on the bride and groom.
2.
Cut the cake - your guests want to celebrate and taste you cake. I
have been to way too many weddings where the bride and groom cut the cake hours
after the wedding reception started. My rule of thumb is to cut the cake within
one hour of the reception starting.
3. Are
your favors cheesy? The purpose of a favor is to thank your guests for coming to your
wedding. Most wedding favors in the market are very cheesy. Your guests can
tell and to be honest, slightly offended. No favor would be better than a
cheesy favor. Either the bride or family will have to make a favor, spend more
on favors or if you cannot afford a nice favor, write a sweet personal note. I
hate to rain on the favor parade but seriously, invest some time or money and
make it a heartfelt gift from the bride and groom. The internet has some
beautiful examples.
4. Do
your guests know what is going on at the reception? My daughter wanted a fun "bar", a signature
drink and a photo booth. Great additions to any reception but we wanted the
guests to know all those fun things were there. In addition, we added a menu
card to the stationary budget. The menu card allowed the guests to know what
the choices for dinner was, the signature drink, the photo booth and their
guest book, a sweet surprise for her father and any other fun details we had
available for their fun!!!
Now we have set out the philosophy for the
reception. Next week, we are going to discuss a very controversial subject...
the role of the guest. To give you a hint, wedding etiquette has been
completely ignored by most wedding guests. People seem to make it up as they
go....
